BBQ’ing is still a mainstay for meals in New Zealand. There are new BBQ Rules circulating and I just had to share them with you.

New Standard Operating Procedures released today. Please learn. These are BBQ RULES for the upcoming 2009/2010 season.

It is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine…
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, oils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three metre exclusion zone where the
exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the
interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine…
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and
asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine…
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauce and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and thanks him for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her ‘night of ‘cooking, and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.

 

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